Top Ten Reasons I Wouldn't Want To Be A Lawn Gnome

1.  People paint funny clothes on you.

2.  Your arms could chip off.

3.  You can't scratch your nose. 

4.  You get left outside in all kinds of weather.

5.  Birds land on your head and pooh.

6.  You are made of concrete, duh.

7.  People name you the wrong name. (?)

8.  Having to show "HIM" where you were touched on the anatomically correct doll.

9.  Being subpoenaed to court.

10. Being put in embarrassing positions.

                                                                          - The Stalking Moon

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